Above, the decade would start out with silly, non-controversial films like the Doris Day movies and end with the likes of "Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice".
By the late 1960's, movies started to change - 1967 brought "Bonnie and Clyde", "Cool Hand Luke", "The Valley of the Dolls". 1968 brought "Barbarella", "Romeo & Juliet". In 1969 came "The Last Summer", "Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice". In 1970, "MASH", "Catch-22" and "The Boys in the Band"! There didn't seem to be a subject untouched and there was no way you couldn't at least KNOW about these movies - through ads, movie trailers, magazines, conversation - talk about raging hormones!
Above, the cast of "Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice".
As kids we were getting bombarded from all sides - the Vietnam War, riots, political assassination - and sex!! Whew...............but let me start with the innocence of it all!
When I was in first grade I remember hearing a joke told to me by a 5th or 6th grader. My oldest sister was married but at the dinner table this one night was myself, my sister Ginger and my parents. It was a routine night in the Flannery house. "How was your day at school Ricky?" my mom cheerfully asked me. "Hey I learned a new joke in school today!" and I proceeded to tell it without any prompting - something that had the punch line ".............rubber balls and liquor!" and I laughed practically before I finished, innocently happy that I remembered it line by line - honestly having no clue what it all meant - I was very proud of myself! It just sounded so funny to me. Talk about stopping everyone in their tracks. Looking back my dad probably wanted to laugh, my sister did laugh but not because of the joke and my mom couldn't believe her ears! In the end, all that was said really was "You shouldn't tell jokes like that Ricky....." and I was left to frown and wonder what the fuss was about! The innocence of it was great!
In 5th grade, there was this guy that joined our class - Brian Marchese. Brian attracted everybody - the guys liked him because he was cool, he had the first Stingray bike. The girls liked him becasue he was cool too but the attraction was that he was the bad boy! Well, one of the first things I learned from Brian was the "F" word. Naturally - just as an innocent would do - I went home that night and was gonna get to the bottom of the "F" word - you know, it MUST mean something. I'll never forget this. My mom was outside planting flowers and I was throwing the ball around with neighbors. Before going inside, I went up to my mom: "Hey mom, do you know what "F***" means?" My mother nearly fell over and was speechless! She stumbled on a reply and said "Your father is shaving - why don't you ask him." "Sure!" So I went inside still seeing nothing wrong the word and said "Hi Dad! Hey do you know what F*** means?" After a pause in HIS reply he said something to the effect "You better ask your mother about it!" Really I thought? Why the run-around? Do they not know the meaning of this word? I got the dictionary - nothing! Well I pursued it until I asked an older kid down the street what it meant and after an explicit description of its meaning - now I was speechless - but became a little more in the know as they say!
At Camp Green there was Mark Gorenflo - I met Mark at 6th grade camp - Camp Green. Ridgewood elementary schools always went to camp with another school in town - I think Mark was from Willard. Anyway, we learned Mark had a girlfriend - I remember us talking about that. I mean I was "sort of" going steady at the time with Cindy Pomeroy - I mean we had been longtime friends - I really liked her, we kissed, she had my id bracelet - I finally asked her to go steady but I was such an innocent that I didn't think to ask her to the movies or on some sort of date! Here was Mark and he was "really" going steady - "wow" we all thought - this guy is cool! How does he do it? How can I be better at this ritual? In my Camp Green diary among all the writing about mining for iron ore, bird watching and the like, I wrote "I like girls." - I guess girls were on my mind - but it wasn't so much a generalization about girls as it was about the bigger struggle of how to chart my choppy course through junior high.
Later on after I reached junior high school - 9th grade specifically - I remember plotting out the purchase of my first Playboy magazine! It was another right of passage and a "big deal" but how to do it? "Ricky, Drapkin's has them right out in the open!" a friend said. Sounds like a plan. So one day I walked uptown to hang out and went to Drapkin's in search of Playboy! There it was on the shelf like a beacon! I spent what seemed like a half hour trying to figure out how I was going to buy it. Of course there was now a girl behind the counter - OMG - can't do it now, but I was not about to leave. I thought if I could hang around long enough til she leaves and the guy gets back behind the counter again I can make my move! So I was leafing through all sorts of sports magazines, tool magazines - "harmless" magazines that wouldn't raise eyebrows. Oh wow - "How to Build A Short-Wave Radio" how interesting - don't you have to take a break or something I thought?! Finally the girl went somewhere else but I couldn't just walk up to the counter with Playboy in my hand - what if I see a neighbor or a girl from school or my mother! I'll be labeled a degenerate! So I grabbed the NY Times and slipped Playboy in between the sections - not to steal it but to hide it from those in line with me! "Hi! Um - er, I'll take the Times, oh and some gum and um, I guess I'll take this too" ya know, since it's there! Geez, I felt the heat in my cheeks but walked out the door truly thinking the owner was going to yell out "Just a minute young man!" When I got it home I didn't know what to do with it! But two things were certain - one, I had to hide it - two, I couldn't believe my eyes! Another right of passage - more knowledge - finally! When you're a kid you just want to at least know what it's all about!
Then there were movies with your parents. Anyone ever go to a movie with your parents when you were like 11, 12, 13 years old and realize that it was probably not intended for you to see that one but no one realized it until after the movie started? My parents took me to see tons of movies - it was always a blast going to the movies! I went with friends - went to the Stanley Warner Theater a lot when I was a kid. But there were a couple of movies my parents took me to which I probably shouldn't have gone to see though. One was a movie called "A Guide for the Married Man" (actually I couldn't remember the title but recalled that Walter Matthau and Jayne Mansfield were in it and Googled them). The storyline was teaching the art of philandering. Seeing Jayne Mansfield I was like - hello, how uncomfortable is this? I remember sitting there seeing these women up on the large screen and feeling increasingly uncomfortable sitting next to MY MOM! Granted, when I was recently trying to figure out the title, the movie was listed as a comedy - I mean Lucille Ball and Jack Benny among many others had small roles but there is no way my mom thought this was about what it was about - still though it was a harmlesss 60's movie.
Above, "A Guide for the Married Man" - innocent 1967 movie fare but still able to make an 11 year-old (me) go "Wow!"
Then there was Dr. Zhivago - when this came out in 1965 you have to remember we were seeing movies like Mary Poppins, The Sound of Music which I confess is one of my favorite movies. Zhivago is clearly a phenomenal movie, it's epic - I love it to this day but there was a scene where Julie Christie is raped by Rod Steiger and I was like whoaaa - I was 10 years old! Sitting there with my mom watching scenes like that - well you want to get some popcorn or something and check the box scores! Slowly I began to put it all together....................
When you're a kid you talk among your friends - "Did you hear about this movie?" Chances are you haven't or wouldn't see the movie you were talking about with friends but one thing was clear - you knew it was hot!
After all this stuff getting thrown at you - some of it brought on yourself - you're asking yourself "Man, am I ready for all this stuff?" My parents - they were the best parents a kid could have - whenever they found themselves in a situation like taking me to a movie I probably shouldn't see at a particular age - it was an innocent thing to them, they didn't make a big deal about it and nothing would be said and so I would be left to squirm in my seat! However, when it came to music it was a different story. When it came to music my dad was of that generation that said "I can't understand what they're saying!" Now, my mom, she would understand some of the words - that is she would know what she was hearing but the meaning would be lost! I will never forget this one day - I had purchased the new Beach Boys single "Do It Again". If you're into The Beach Boys you'll know that this song is strictly about The Beach Boys going back to their musical roots - surfing, girls and cars - kind of nostalgic for The Beach Boys - here's a verse:
Well I've been thinking 'bout,
All the places we've surfed and danced and
All the faces we've missed so let's get,
Back together and do it again
Well my mom yelled upsatirs to me "Ricky, that song is inappropriate!" Really? Really mom? Oh - I get it - the words "DO - IT - AGAIN........" - I nearly fell over with laughter - I did try to convince her it was about "old times", etc - well finally - I just turned down the volume a little! I think part of it in my case was that my folks were about 15 to 20 years older than most of my friends parents - a big gap when you consider all that was going on! Then when I bought Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love" in 1969 - forget about it - "ah, ah, ah, ah, ah......." mom didn't even mention that one - probably just didn't know what to say!!!
I also remember trying to convince my dad that going for a haircut every other week wasn't a good idea anymore! Took a while but finally succeeded. Same with bell-bottoms - "Come on mom, everybody's wearing them!" Took a while but managed that one too. Growing up - there is a lot to it! Pop culture, sports, girls, physical changes you're not ready for. You're trying to fit in - you're not sure of things - you're sometimes wishing that all this was not happening with people you know around you!
Relive it all - come the BF-GW reunion Saturday November 12 at the Woodcliff Lake Hilton in Woodcliff Lake, NJ.
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